My Christmas Unwishlist: What Not to Get Me for the Holidays

*Cross-posted from Lizz Buenaventura (dot) com

A lot of lovely bloggers have been posting their Christmas wishlists lately, and while I enjoy looking through their lists, I find that posting one's Un-Wishlist may be more useful. After all, Christmas means gift-giving with much of your extended family, and while they undoubtedly love you (at least a little) and want to spend money on you (maybe), I'm certain they'd rather spend their cash on immediate family and/or significant others. After all, you can't really expect second cousin (twice removed on your mother's side) "Ned" to spring for, say, a box of your favourite expensive chocolates, right?

So here we are. Instead of posting about all the things I *want*, I've decided to post a list of things that I absolutely, hands-down, do NOT want. I mean it. Come Christmas day, when the little ones rush out of their beds and down to the well-decorated tree, I do NOT want to see any of this stuff. (And by little ones, I mean "me". And yes, I don't have a tree this year, nor would it fit in my shoebox of an apartment. Blarg.)

1. DO NOT GIVE ME... stuffed animals. They're cute, they're cuddly. I don't WANT them. I live in a tiny, tiny shoebox of an apartment where every piece of furniture, every appliance must serve two, three, or possibly four purposes. A stuffed animal serves no purpose at all, and thus will never find a home here. (Shuttup, my Pooh bear serves as pillow, huggamuffin, AND confidant.)

   

2. DO NOT GIVE ME... flowers. Not a lot of people are weird enough to give flowers as Christmas presents (I'm looking at you, big bro), but whatever the reason: NO. They breed insects, die within a week, and I could think of a million better uses for your money than this. Flowers are classic presents from men who are either a) romantic or b) too lazy to think of an actual present because hey, all women love flowers, don't they? :P

   

3. DO NOT GIVE ME... figurines. Yes, you know what I mean. Little fairies perched on a tree, mermaids perched on a rock, heck, they even have teddy bear figurines. Glass, plaster, porcelain... whatever they're made of, I have neither the space nor the interest for them. Next!

   

4. DO NOT GIVE ME... blouses, skirts, or pants. You don't know my size and even if you think you do, you don't. The only exceptions to this point are my mother and my boyfriend, both of whom have seen me naked at various points in my life and actually really do know my size. :D

   

5. DO NOT GIVE ME... Twilight books and/or anything by Dan Brown. I know you've heard "nice things" about them and perhaps actually like them yourself. I do not like Twilight. I do not like Dan Brown. Do not give me anything like this, or I will cross you off my Christmas list from now until the end of time. That is all.

   

And thus endeth my list. :P What about you guys? What are the presents you would hate to receive (or presents that you've received and hated? :P)?