It Takes a Hair Pro

*Originally published in I am Shallow.

there was a time in our mutating lives when we didn't really mind who did our hair. we just barge into the nearest beauty parlor, find a seat, say we want a haircut, then the hairdresser takes care of the rest however way he wants to. if we didn't like the result, we blame our hair for being too thin, too thick, stringy, frizzy, etc.

all i wanted were layers and textured side swept bangs like penny's in the big bang theory. how hard is that?! apparently, harder than i thought.

i myself have fine, stick straight hair. the kind that wouldn't stay curled for more than an hour or two even if it has been subjected mercilessly to the baddest curling iron. through the years, my hair has only been either short or long, with no trace of whatever styling savvy. just plain old "two inches off" maybe enough to get rid of split ends, if any. so i had boring hair, big deal.

here's the story: most women i knew then with stick straight hair like mine had badly done layers. you know how those stringy, slicked down emo hair fall helplessly limp in irregular lengths? that's how they look like in their natural state. i always thought it was our fine, lifeless hair's fault. they just refused to behave themselves into jennifer aniston layers. i realized later that it's not about the hair, it's about the hairstyle. and it takes a pro to do it.

stop blaming your hair. it's not their fault.

i took a while testing different salons and stylists. the challenge in experimenting with stylists is, unlike toothpaste or soap, you don’t get to test another one the very next day. if i didn’t like one stylist, i waited another six to eight weeks for my hair to grow out so i can go to someone else. so the entire procedure took three years, spread over a couple of salons and even more professionals. one thing i understood: each salon has plenty of pros, and not all of them will fix your hair exactly the way you describe it.

now i am loyal to basement salon. to cris in the shangri-la branch and to cherrie in the power plant branch. but to cris mostly for geographic reasons.

here are the factors i considered in selecting a salon and stylist:

1. styling techniques and execution, of course. is he able to execute exactly how i imagined my hair to look? does he use only the tools i am willing to expose my hair to (e.g., i don't like that razor-comb thingy they use. i notice i get split ends with it. unfortunately, not all salons have mastered fine layers using only scissors)?

2. comprehension and delivery. does he take the time and effort to listen and understand what i want? offering suggestions but not insisting on what he believes is right for me, allowing me make the final decision? i tried a stylist twice in another salon two years ago. he was excellent in the craft, but can be overbearing, insisting on what he wanted to do rather than what i wanted to happen. "miss, i have twenty years experience, i know what i'm doing." to which i should have retorted, "but this is my hair!" but i didn't because he might deliberately ruin my hair out of spite.

3. service-mindedness and general service attitude. does he always remember to offer me the magazines of my choice? or refreshments? does he give instructions kindly to his assistants, not demanding nor putting them ill-at-ease?

4. follow-through. is he willing to accommodate me free of charge and with a smile if i need touch-ups or repairs after, say, a week has passed since he cut my hair? does he recognize me and remember my preferred style during subsequent visits?

5. location. is he based in a branch that is convenient for me to visit on a regular basis?

6. price. can i pay for the service without unnecessary financial sacrifice? because once you find the right stylist, you wouldn't want to go anywhere else, believe me. it's like your ob-gyn or surgeon. you trust them with your life.

each person has a different set of hair needs, so nobody can really tell you with full certainty which salon would be best for you. if you want to be serious about maintaining a consistently presentable hairstyle and establishing a working relationship with a stylist, you might want to experiment and salon-hop too. but be warned: there will be a number of times when you get unsatisfactory results, and the grow-out will simply feel tedious. cheer up, it's all part of the learning process.

so if you have a favorite salon and stylist already, congratulations! if you want to find a salon and meet a stylist of your own, gather your courage to experiment. it's all worth it in the end. good hair days are always worth it.